Alright readers. I confess. I have been a bad, bad Asian. Maybe even a Bsian. I have neglected you and that just isn’t right. But I’m back, and with a tale of injustice so gripping it is sure to vaunt me back into your good graces.
It should be clear from the start of this tragic tale that I recognize my role in all of this. I do. I take full responsibility for my actions. I appeal instead to a higher order, a more universal justice, to right this grievous wrong.
Ok. So Yuan, for reasons which are not important here, was recently going through another rash of giving away his stuff. He does this every now and then. Seriously, like half my movie collection is Yuan’s. The Princess and her wuzzband bought his Wii for $75 and it came with a free car. Not gonna lie, these purges of his are pretty awesome.
So Yuan asked me if I wanted his blue pie plate. Not remembering him having any pie plates, because he doesn’t make pies, I assume it’s one of those blue Pyrex things, because why would he have a nice pie plate if he doesn’t make pies? I’ve got plenty of Pyrex pie plates, so I decline – I’ve already got his whole stereo and a bunch of other stuff, so I figure I’ll share the wealth.
A few days later I was over at Yuan’s, and saw a little pile of stuff he’d set aside for the Princess. On top of it is this lovely deep-dish blue enameled pie plate with fluted edges…..and my world comes crashing down around me, like a wave of ice water full of stinging hornets. F@%#!!!! THIS IS THE BLUE PIE PLATE?? I TOTALLY want this pie plate! And Princess gets it now?? She doesn’t even make pies!! Ohhhhhhhh how gorgeous my pies would look in such a classic vessel! It even matches my other bakeware! I mean, imagine what THIS would look like in if it was in a nice pie plate….
Lattice-top blueberry pie, made only because I love to make pies
Or this…..look at how the plain old pie plate is making the whole thing look just a little sad…also let’s note that I made another pie.
With delicious streusel top
How many pies has Princess made over the last 6, maybe 7 months? NARY A ONE. She did send me a picture of a casserole she’d made in the pie plate. I cried that night, readers, tears of fury and indignation… Ok, not really, but come ON!
So now, of course, the Princess won’t relinquish the damn thing. She just cackles and promises that she’ll will it to me. Knowing her that girl’s gonna outlive me just for spite! Everyone, of course, thinks this is hilaaaaaaarious, and they just looooooove to taunt me about the blue pie plate.
IT WILL BE MINE! Mark my words, readers, it will be mine.
Except that I was up at the Princess’ place this weekend and was fully planning to steal it, and then forgot. Sigh.